The Lie Linking Us Together
by Moonlight M3lody
Summary: Collete's diary, from the first seal until before Tower of Salvation event


The Lie That Linking Us Together

A/N: I just happened to read my first time ever reviews today ( 6-8-09)and I'm...speechless. All of you is being so nice to me*sob* thanks a lot to Adriannu and Faux Promises (I never imagined my first reviewer is you!)

Finished : 21- 08 - 09

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_Triet Desert, Sylvarant_

_Lloyd, I'm sorry not to tell you something like this. I can't give you more weight to carry. This secret has made me so sad, not being able to let anyone know. As the exchange, I'll write all of them in this book. I hope this can help me erase my grieve. Lloyd, if you ever read this, I wonder if you can forgive me. Ah, I forgot you couldn't read Angel writings…maybe Raine will help you?_

_Today I released the first seal. Diary, I know something will change in me. I got a pair of cute angel wings and Lloyd was very excited seeing it. However, I felt weakened so we need to camp here for a night. I'm sorry to be such a burden. I noticed that I lost my ability to taste. Genis' cuisine tasted like a paper at the dinner. My appetite is vanished. They mustn't know. I tried to eat but Lloyd seems to have a suspicion. Ah, He had come back from scouting task. I can see him from here. They said this is called angelic power. I wonder what I lost and what I gain next._

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_Thoda Geyser_

_The seal of water do the same thing. I fainted just when we reach the outskirts. Everyone need to stop again. I must be strong. If I keep this any longer, the journey of world regeneration is slowed down. Genis calling us for dinner. I shall continue this later_

_I barely eating and I need to force it down my throat. I'm careless, forgot the fact that I just swallowed anything I didn't like, which poked Lloyd's curiosity more and more. I did everything I can to distract his attention at me. Thankfully, he decided to chat with Genis, thus left me alone. I gave an excuse to go sleep._

_The reason that I am writing now is because I can't shut my eyes anymore. I spent the last two hours cuddling with my pillow with no success. Luckily, my angel sense has grown, and I could pretend to be asleep when I heard Lloyd checked on me. Lloyd, I know I'll never able to go back to Iselia with you, so I have to enjoy the whole journey. Next seal is said to be located within Asgard._

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_Asgard Ruins_

_It turned out that the seal here is fake. Raine discovered the true one in Balacruf Mausoleum. Honestly I feel kind of relieved, I didn't need to lost anything here, which make part of me feeling guilty at the same time. I am such a bad Chosen . A chosen never thinks of themselves like me. Am I able to save the world if I still have this feelings?_

_I shouldn't have any hesitation. As long as Lloyd is alive in this world, so as my soul._

_**********************************************************************_

_Balacruf Mausoleum_

_No need to be said, I fell from angel toxicoxis again. If it isn't the worst, Lloyd realized my unusual self. I suffered some wounds earlier, and while I couldn't feel anything, it's bloody and stained half of my clothes._

_Surely everyone know what's going on now. Lloyd footsteps coming near. _

_I am continuing. Lloyd has tricked me! I am forced to confess them all. However, he promised not to tell anyone, and he did. I wanted to cry, yet I can't. I ended up hold his hand and I prayed silently," May this moment never end." It's the proof of my other selfishness, but please, only for this time…_

_I placed my wish to the shooting star. I'll put my hope upon the star, even though it won't work at all. I wanted to believe, there's another way to end everything. _

_Goddess Martel, stand by my side_

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_Tower of Mana_

_We managed to know, the last seal is unlocked. Now is the good time for me to reflect everything in my life. Last chance to confess, but I guess Lloyd will be happy without me told him. The rest of the group have understood my condition due to an accident in the human ranch._

_Sadly, I lost my voice. I wonder, is the last thing I must sacrifice to is my heart? I clutched my shirt. Can I let it gone? The only one thing prove my humanity. Through my angel eyes and ear I could heard and see the hard life of the people in this world. Living in poverty, waiting for me to turn it back to prosperity. Should I trade my own happiness for them?_

_I'm torn. Between the world I loved so much, and the one I loved with all of my heart. And there's a lot of my friends too._

_If I lived, the world will dying and no one can survive_

_If I sacrifice my existence, everyone can live their life in happiness_

_It's obvious what option I should choose._

_Just when I'm about to made my mind, Sheena said something shocking by the campfire. She said she wasn't belong to this world, somewhere parallel with Sylvarant, called Tethealla that we usually use the term' the moon'. The world regeneration we're carrying now will destroy Tethealla._

_Is that mean anything I was doing is useless? There's still many people who will dying through my actions. Why Martel created two worlds that paralleling each other?_

_Which side I should choose?_

_******************************************************************_

_Hima, Last stop before Tower of Salvation_

_This is the last entry I'll write. I bid you farewell everyone. Thank you for everything you've done for me for my life these 16 years. Now is my turn to make you happy. No worry needed. Even that I'm gone, I shall watch you as the world itself, along with Martel._

_Genis, please take care of Lloyd. Even though you're still 10, you're doing anything better than me. Also, be nice with Raine, 'Kay?_

_Sheena, I'm sorry for all the trouble I've brought to you. I hope someday you can find your own way of life. Until then, I'm sure that you're able to get used to Sylvarant. I'm sorry. In the end, I valued Sylvarant more than anything just because everyone I loved live here. You may hate me and my egoism._

_Raine- sensei , I give you my gratitude for your patience all this time. I'm clumsy and lame, only more and more mess I've given to you. I'm being such a nuisance. Without me clinging on you anymore, please continue to teach children, as they need you more than me. Look after Lloyd too, will ya?_

_Lloyd, I- I-I, my deepest apology to you! You've placed such a trust to me yet I betrayed it! I hid so many things from you! I know, no matter how much I said sorry , it's useless. You're the only reason for me living these 16 years to the fullest. I don't deserve your kindness, but I wanted you to smile so badly. Goodbye. When you read this, it means the world is saved already, the world where you live in. it worth my sacrifice. I wanted to say these with my own voice, crying no more, but I can't. Did your best in your life. I'm beside you, always._

_I'm raised with the word "Love your world, and die for it." And so I do. Not to fulfill their wish,but mine._

_At least, my wish is granted. To protect everyone. With my own hands._

_A knock from the door. Kratos has come. This is the true end._

_For the very last time, goodbye. It's nice to meet all of you, the greatest blessing in my life._

_**Sincerely,**_

_**Collete**_

_**I love you, Lloyd**_

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_**A/N: my newest fic, and it took a long time to write. Feel free to say anything. Was it OOC? I'm kinda depressed so this idea came to my mind when I tried to write. The grammar is a bit mixed, but it's because Collete wrote them little by little. Past tense showed what happened at her before she continued writing(just for information. I'm sorry if someone felt confused). Hope you like it. Review welcomed. **_

_All gratitude,_

_Moonlight M3lody_


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